Magical Mess
by Healer Pomfrey
Summary: Someone is casting Transfiguration spells at Dolores Umbridge every weekend, and whilst everyone is happy about it, no one seems responsible for the deed. Completely AU, partly OOC, character death! Umbridge,


**Magical Mess**  
**by Healer Pomfrey**

_All recognizable characters belong to J. K. Rowling, and I am not earning anything by writing this story.  
I am not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes._

_**Warning: This is not one of my nice and fluffy stories! Character death Umbridge!**_

* * *

_'Again Monday,'_ Harry thought, when he took his seat between his two friends at the Gryffindor table, glad that Madam Pomfrey had released him in time for breakfast. Before he could even take a piece of food onto his plate, his attention became diverted by hasty steps on high heels behind himself. Groaning inwardly, he observed Professor Umbridge walk to the Head table.

"Headmaster," he heard her speak up, clearly too excited to lower her voice or cast a silencing spell around the Head table, "someone sneaked up on me during my free period on Friday afternoon, transfigured me into a snail and left me in front of the entrance doors. Only just now the person returned and transfigured me back."

"Dolores, are you feeling all right?" McGonagall queried in apparent disbelief, slowly extending a hand in the direction of her colleague's forehead.

"After sitting in front of the entrance door as a snail, you ask me if I'm fine?" Umbridge asked, incredulously.

Dumbledore swallowed a piece of toast, before he replied pleasantly, "Ah Dolores, I'm sure that it was merely a bad dream. None of our students or colleagues would do such a thing to you."

_'And if anyone did, Dumbledore would surely award house points,'_ Harry thought, inwardly grinning.

"Albus!" the Defence Professor in the pink one piece said in an angry voice. "This was not a dream but completely real. I demand an investigation. Everyone who was not in class during the last afternoon period on Friday has to be questioned under Veritaserum."

"Harry, we need to hurry," Hermione suddenly brought the boy back to reality. "Potions is going to commence in fifteen minutes."

Inwardly groaning, as he'd have preferred to further listen in to the interesting conversation between the teachers, Harry rose from his chair and hurried behind his friends, only now realising that most of his classmates had already left the hall. _'At lunchtime, we should sit as near to the Head table as possible,'_ he mused, before he proceeded to tell his friends about what he had heard, while they hurried to the dungeons.

HP

After his Transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall addressed the boy. "Mr. Potter, please remain for a moment."

"Go ahead and take seats near the Head table," Harry whispered to Hermione, before he curiously stepped over to his Head of House.

"Mr. Potter, I'm sorry, but I'm obliged to ask you something," the Scottish lioness said in a soft voice. "I know that you've been ill with the Wizard's flu, but have you, by any chance, left the hospital wing on Friday afternoon and transfigured Professor Umbridge into a snail?"

Harry inwardly groaned, before he let out a long sigh. "Professor, you can ask Madam Pomfrey, but I was fast asleep the whole day on Friday. It's not that I was in the hospital wing in order to miss classes."

"All right dear, that's what I thought," McGonagall replied, smiling at the boy.

Suddenly, a smile crept onto Harry's face, and he admitted, "If I'd ever do such a thing to her, which I of course do not intend, I'd transfigure her into a toad instead."

"I believe that would be a much more adequate form," McGonagall whispered her agreement, before she dismissed him, unable to hide a grin.

HP

To Harry's disappointment, the conversation at the Head table did not return to this morning's topic again, neither during lunch nor during dinner, and a few days and several detentions with his most hated professor later, he had almost forgot about the matter.

However, on Friday evening, when Harry knocked at the door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor's office, there was no reply. _'Strange,'_ Harry mused, _'she's always in her office, especially when I have detention with her. Maybe again someone transfigured her into some kind of animal.'_ He let himself sink to the floor and proceeded to work on his Transfiguration homework, glad that he had brought his book bag with him. However, an hour later, Umbridge had not yet returned, and Harry slowly walked back to Gryffindor, taking a detour by his Head of House's office to inform her that he had not been able to serve the requested detention with the Defence professor.

"She's not in her office, although she assigned you detention?" McGonagall queried in disbelief.

"Maybe something happened to her again," Harry mused aloud, causing the professor's lips to stretch to a small smile.

"Oh well, I'm not going to search the castle for snails," McGonagall replied in determination. "Let's just forget about the matter for the time being."

"I won't tell anyone, Professor," Harry replied, grinning.

Every time Harry walked through the halls during the weekend, he unobtrusively let his eyes wander around, checking the floor for any unusual animals. However, apart from the fact that Mr. Filch had obviously seen fit to place a huge carpet into the entrance hall, nothing seemed to be anything than normal. _'That's strange,'_ he mused, almost sure that again someone had to have played a prank on the teacher, since she never showed up in the Great Hall for any meal.

When he trailed behind his friends to the Great Hall on Monday morning, he whispered, "Let's take seats near the Head table. I'm sure we're going to have a blast."

HP

To the three best friends' great amusement, Umbridge once again appeared slightly late for breakfast and immediately began to complain to the Headmaster.

"Someone transfigured me into a carpet, leaving me right in the entrance hall, where hundreds of students walked over me," she hissed in a very upset voice. "Dumbledore, I'll tell you now if you're not going to take further measures in this matter, I'm going to call the Aurors."

The Headmaster let out a long sigh. "Dolores, what can I do?" he queried. "Last week, we questioned everyone, who was not in class during your free period, and each of the persons in question had a solid alibi." Ignoring the Defence professor's snort, he enquired, "At what time did it happen, again during the afternoon?"

"No, it happened when I was on my way back from dinner, and I found myself returning to my human form right before breakfast, when hundreds of students were walking through the entrance hall," Umbridge explained in an upset voice, unaware of the fact that many students at all house tables were listening into the conversation.

Dumbledore shook his head in apparent annoyance. "I'm sorry Dolores, but there's no way to find out the culprit if everyone was out in the halls."

"Call all students here to the front and check their wands," Umbridge demanded, glaring at the Headmaster.

"Very well then," Dumbledore replied and rose from his chair. "My dear students, the first morning class is cancelled today. We're going to call you here to the Head table class-wise, where we'll have to check your wands. Please remain seated until we call you. After the inspection, you may return to your classes."

"The adults as well," Umbridge required. "I suspect everyone."

Rolling his eyes, the Headmaster began to point his wand consecutively at each of his colleagues' wands. However, none of the teachers had transfigured a colleague into a carpet. During the next hour, under Umbridge's watchful eyes, Dumbledore checked the wands of all students to no avail.

"What about Trelawney, Pomfrey and Filch?" Umbridge growled, impatiently, while the students were sent to their classes.

"Let's go to see Sybill and Poppy then," Dumbledore replied, rolling his eyes. "Argus is a Squib and doesn't even own a wand."

Of course Trelawney and Pomfrey were innocent as well, and the Headmaster motioned for his Defence professor to go and teach her classes for the time being.

"What about the elves?" Umbridge queried. "We have to check them too."

"I'll speak with Twinkle," Dumbledore promised and returned to his office, where he discussed the matter with his personal house-elf.

Twinkle promised to enquire if anyone knew anything about the matter. When he returned an hour later, he informed the Headmaster that none of the elves had heard or seen anything about it. "The elves don't like Professor Umbridge, but elves would not play a prank on a professor here," he reassured the Headmaster.

"I know Twinkle," Dumbledore replied, pleasantly choosing a lemon drop from his bowl, before he dismissed the elf and sat in his comfortable chair to ponder the strange happenings for a while.

HP

To Harry's chagrin, he could not find out anything more, since no one at the Head table chose to talk about the matter again. However, on Thursday evening, Dumbledore rose from his seat to speak to the students between the main dinner course and the desert.

"I'd like to introduce to you Ms. Tonks and Mr. Shacklebolt," he spoke up, pointing to the two adults, who had joined the Head table. "They're both Aurors and will be staying with us for the time being to assure that no one will be transfigured into animals or objects in the halls."

While some students stared at the Headmaster in surprise, Harry and his friends blurted out laughing, just like everyone else, who had heard about Professor Umbridge's recent problems.

HP

"Ahh, what a pity that the Aurors are here now," Harry told his friends, when he finally reached the common room after his detention with Umbridge the same evening. "I'd so much hoped that she'd be away again tomorrow, so that I could get around my detention again." He gratefully accepted the bowl of Murtlap essence, which Hermione handed him, to bathe his aching hand.

"Harry, your hand looks really bad tonight," Hermione said in concern. "These cuts have become infected."

Harry had to admit to himself that he was not feeling overly well, and by the morning, he could barely move his hand, had a splitting headache and was sure that he was running a fever from the infection. However, when Hermione tried to convince him to accompany her to the hospital wing, he shook his head in determination.

"No Mione, I'm not going to miss any classes today. I don't want her to think that I was the one who attacked her," he explained firmly, promising, "If it's not better tonight, I'll go to see Pomfrey after my detention with Umbridge."

Unfortunately, due to his ailments, he could not concentrate well and managed to make his potion explode, causing Professor Snape to assign him detention.

"Sir, I've already detention with Professor Umbridge tonight," he protested weakly, giving the Potions Master a pleading look.

However, the professor merely smirked and instructed him to come to the potions classroom right afterwards.

_'Can this day get any worse?' _Harry thought, as he dragged himself to Umbridge's office. _'I just hope that whoever is doing this got her again and firmly transfigured her into something really nice until Monday morning,'_ he thought, smiling in relief, when the professor was obviously absent from her office.

After half an hour of obediently waiting for his most annoying teacher, he gave up and contentedly trailed to the dungeons, stopping dead in his track, when he reached the Potions classroom. A pinkish toad was slowly roaming the corridor in front of the classroom.

"Professor, there's a pink toad in the hall," he informed the Potions Master, who gave him a sharp look.

"A pink toad?" he sneered. "Well, whatever colour it has, bring it here. The Giant Squid has taken ill with the Squid's flu, and I have to brew the potion for it. You can prepare the ingredients for me."

"Yes sir," Harry replied and handed him the toad.

The professor waved his wand over the small animal, quickly separating the parts into useful parts and rubbish, before he instructed the boy to prepare the usable pieces. During the following two hours, Harry diligently prepared ingredients for the Potions Master, who busied himself with the brewing process.

"Now show me that hand, Potter," Snape demanded, as he set the cauldron with the finished potion aside.

Harry hesitantly showed the man his hand, slightly flinching back, when the professor hissed in anger, "Who did that to you?"

"Professor Umbridge, sir," Harry replied in a small voice.

"I'll see to it that she receives a one-way ticket to Azkaban," Snape replied in determination. "I'm going to take you to the hospital wing, before I have to give the potion to Hagrid for the Giant Squid."

"Will the Giant Squid be all right sir?" Harry queried, causing Snape to cast him a surprised look.

"Yes, of course," he replied in a relatively friendly voice. "With this potion, the Giant Squid will be right as rain by the morning at the latest."

_'That's good,'_ Harry thought, as he slowly followed the professor through the empty halls to the hospital wing. _'Strange; somehow I have the feeling as if that toad resembled someone,'_ he mused, as he absentmindedly rubbed his forehead in a faint attempt to get rid of his headache.

_** Epilogue **_

After a short excursion to the dungeons to make sure that the corridor was free from toads or any possibly dangerous objects, Mr. Filch returned to his office, firmly locking the door behind himself. A small smile was playing on his lips, as he hid his wand deep in his inner robe pocket that was invisible to everyone but himself. He then placed an empty phial back in the still almost full box with the inscription _'WWW'_ and returned the box into his drawer for dangerous magical objects. _'I'll buy some of the Giant Squid's favourite treats next time I get to Hogsmeade to apologize and make up for the inconvenience,'_ he mused, as he reflected the events of the evening. _'In spite of two Aurors being at the castle,'_ he thought, chuckling as he absentmindedly petted Mrs. Norris' head. _'Thank Merlin that they don't know for whom I'm working and believe that I'm a Squib.'_

Taking an empty parchment out of his first drawer, he wrote, _'Mission accomplished. Awaiting further directives.'_ Pocketing the parchment, he slowly walked up to the owlery, instructing one of the school owls to take it to the Ministry of Magic, Department of Magical Mysteries, for which he had already been a spy over many years.

**THE END**


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